AAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

I have been avoiding blogging because I have had such an amazing response.  It doesn't make sense, I know but I think the thought of everyone wanting to help was too overwhelming for a girl who does not ask for help and if I do, it is with gritted teeth.  I feel like I want to vent and that's it but to have such a community of people willing to stand with me is amazing I'm just not ready to accept it yet.  I was thinking about it today and I feel like a failure somehow for asking for help.  I know it sounds crazy but its what I feel, that I must do everything on my own even though in my head I'm wishing that I'd asked for help or I'm cranky at my partner for not helping and that he's just supposed to read my mind cause I never asked him to help me.  Asking for help is going to be a huge thing for me to accomplish so please be patient and expect quite a few knock backs.  Saying that makes me think of when I've asked others if they need help and they say no, it hurts cause all you want to do is help.  I understand but don't always get it right