I just want to know when the feelings of guilt stop when you're a Mum. I feel guilty if I exercise and leave the boys at home, I feel guilt if I do something in the evening and don't spend it with my partner, I feel guilty about feeling guilty (well probably not the last one but you get my drift). Sometimes I just want to scream, WHEN IS MY TIME???? Then I think I don't know how well I've got it and I should be 100% grateful for what I have, which I am but I want more .... and then I feel guilty for wanting more, I think this should be enough. I should be content but I'm not. I look at my other amazing friends and think why can't I have their life, it looks so perfect or I would like exactly what they have. Its rough cause as one of my beautiful commenters said no one is perfect and when you have those around you who care so much they love you regardless but why can't I love myself regardless??????
Challenges - I got up and went for our jog (my son in the pram and me) it felt like I was in slow motion the whole time but I did it in exactly the same time as last week. Its good to keep a record of time especially for times like today where it felt like it took forever. Did I make a good lunch??? ... um no but it was yummy does that count? Challenge for tomorrow, no run in the morning, remember rest is good :) Basketball tomorrow night - very nerve racking as I haven't played for nearly a year. I'm liking embracing the fear of the new. I am truly a very private person and this blog is a huge challenge for me but the responses I've received are really amazing and I want to keep going even though no comments in my head meant no readers which somehow felt better than knowing people are actually reading about me cause I keep thinking what's so special about me.
Oh hun I feel exactly the same, but I think you do a much better job than me, so if it makes you feel better, YOU are one of those people I look at and go "Why can't I be as good as HER??!!!". You're a FANTASTIC mother, I don't know any other Mother who is always so energetic and attentive to her kids as you are. I don't think the guilt will ever stop, it seems to kick into high-gear after you give birth, but you can learn to lessen it by reminding yourself that taking care of YOURSELF is actually really GOOD for your family. As i'm sure Jase, Noah and Jordi would prefer a Vicki who's rested and happy than a run down grumpy-pants! hehehe xxx love you sweetie!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, its Brook here, I just had to use Brett's gmail account to sign in to comment as I don't have one yet! LOL XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteThanks beautiful, I feel like a complete shame though with you wanting to be like me. I'm no better than any Mum.
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